FROZEN SOUL SACRED SPIRAL

"Lightening" by Clinton Naik

Edwina remembers sitting terrified in a primary school class while a head teacher brutally beat up a young 7 or 8 year old boy, one of her classmates, with a heavy strap.

She was frozen to the soul's core. And the other children in the class seemed to be clad in ice too. The class teacher stood by, she said nothing, made no move either.

None of them rose to protect this young lad.None of them challenged the head teacher.

Did they even discuss the incident, in class or in the playground?

NO

Why not?

Because it was relatively common, because adults were always right, because they were stronger, because you didn't question their actions.

Only Edwina, in her puzzled heart, did. Silently.

She had had an early training in freezing. Watching in horror, unable to react. That was where she had learnt the terrible art of denying her feelings and freezing her words and questions. That early training had turned her soul into a frozen landscape.

"Is there anyone there?" by Colin Rex

Her Dad had had violent outbursts, terrible uncontrolable moments of (as it was called then) disciplining his children, her brothers and sisters. "He could always put you down": her mother had once described it, unaware of the underlying meaning in her words. 

Her mother could be sharp and harsh too, as hard as iron. In a child's mind this is how la marâtre comes about "She can't be my True Mother, maybe she is a Witch who has taken my mother's appearance."

Yet there was all the laughter and the fun and the miraculous moments too in that family life. What was Edwina to make of all of this? How to find a way across the frozen wastes?

"Can the river of life flow again?" photo by Leo Rivas

It takes a holy quest, a never ending determination to find the answers, as Edwina has discovered!

And along the way there will be those wonderful helpers. Animals, Nature. Books. People

She learnt to go outside, to actively seek answers, to explore, to never give up.

Thus food came.

Delightful berries, nourishing fruits.

"It's for you to enjoy" photo by Vincent Van Zalinge

Understanding was the key. And Edwina received help from counsellors, from psychologists, from spiritual teachers, from long retreats which helped her to understand herself, understand others.

She saw her father as a little baby abandoned more or less at birth, separated from his mother, who was at death's door (luckily she didn't go through the door), but the damage was done, he hated her for so long: that was his frozen wasteland of the heart.

She saw her mother brought up by an austere father, who would also have heavily disciplined his children, and a busy busy mother, always out organizing events, being a doctor's wife, no time for her daughter:  that was her frozen moor, biding its' time, waiting defrosting in old age.

There were reasons for those frozen lands! And they were embedded in society, not just a fault in the individuel.

Essential reading

And - oh, bliss- there were the traditional stories, sourced in humanity's heart, spoken from heart to mind to heart, heard in childhood, understood in adulthood. That cauldron of collective wisdom. That fountainhead of joyful rebirthings. 
 

Books by Fabienne Morel and Gilles Bizouerne

No, Edwina was never alone.

And the words could flow again, could find their way to magic and mystery, to love and playful being.

"A rainbow in the waterfall" photo by Sorasak

It was a dance, a sacred dance, a spiralling dance.

She was a part of it all.

She could laugh, and play and dance and create.

And encourage others to do so too.

They were all part of this tremendous life force, this miracle of being.

And compassion was one of the biggest keys.

Realizing that she too had made many mistakes, in her own life, in bringing up her child.

Blaming could never defrost the ice.

Only understanding.

And then the Vision comes: one day, brothers and sisters will be together across one Planet Earth, dancing joyfully, breathing mindfully.

We are still a long way from that day, thinks Edwina.

How many books, how many people, how many helpers are needed to hold out the keys of understanding and compassion? And how many hands must want to find the keys, must actively seek the keys, before that day can happen.

Ah, how Mother Earth will rejoice when we all learn the sacred dance, the spiralling dance, the joy-filled dance, the Beauty-filled dance. For then She will be able to breathe more easily, she will be able to give her fruits to one and all. 

"Open your wings and danse, Edwina" photo by Alfred Leung. All photos from UNSPLASH